A father of young children has said that what he would really like for Father’s Day is some f**king peace in an empty house.
Jesmond Buhagiar made the unusual gift request after another day of children dicking about and crying hysterically over spilt yogurt while he tries to take conference calls. Due to the coronavirus semi-lockdown, Buhagiar, a marketing consultant, has been working from home for the past three months. Together with his wife they have been managing their jobs and their young children from the crammed confines of their flat in Iklin.
Father-of-three Buhagiar said: “My ideal present would be just f*ck off and leave me alone. Not forever. A day, perhaps. Although three weeks would be nice. These past weeks have been an un-f*****-believable mayhem.
“I eagerly fantasise about how it would play out… My wife Tracy takes them to the playing park on the other side of island for a whole morning. Then she gets a flat tyre while driving back, and then they all have to camp by the side of the road for a few days. It’s not like this is going to happen any time soon, I’ll be the first to know if her car so much as beeps, but if I don’t get some peace, I may go mad. Still, one can never be too optimistic…
“Obviously, I feel blessed and I truly relish our family time – it’s adorable being unable to get to the kettle without impaling my feet on Lego while someone phones me about a purchase order.
“So, this Father’s Day, instead of a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug, maybe they can all just f**k off and stand in a field or something for 72 hours? That would really prove what a wonderful family I’ve got.”