Humans. Especially the Maltese kind. Nothing, but nothing quite brings out in equal measure, both our very best and our most loathsome traits as at in times of acute adversity. And now it seems that we, though we do have a tendency to believe we’re special/different/superior to our fellow humans, like the rest of the world are in the throes of a superbug. Who would’ve thought? Who would’ve believed that an insensate, microscopic ‘creature’, for want of a better word, would bring the world, his brother and their kitchen cupboard to its knees in the space of just a few short months? But anyway, I digress…
Today we shall be celebrating the ‘National Greedy Pig 2020’ award, which, in our humble opinion should be declared by the government as a Public Holiday on the same standing as say, Freedom Day or Independence Day. We can also appeal to the Curia to delve into its coffers for an appropriate prize for the winner/s, after all, the Catholic Church knows quite a thing or two about greed and avarice. But again, that is another story for another day…
Where were we? Ahhhh… greedy buggers. This land has, over the years produced some fine ‘greedy pig’ examples. Let’s recap for an instance to just a few short months ago. We can assume that satellite images, though we are not in cahoots with NASA, so we don’t really know for sure, would show our islands as a strange pock-marked area. The image for Malta and Gozo would be quite dissimilar to anywhere else on Earth, though the surface of the moon could come quite close. And why? Malta has, for the past few decades at least, been in the grasp of ‘The Developer’, that unique, strange creature, whose rabid hunger to eff’ up every piece of virginal land he could lay his hands upon and turn it into yet another soulless concrete box, has made him not only a prime candidate for the ‘Greedy Pig’ award but also a consistent winner year in, year out.
But this is not quite right. There have been other much worthy candidates who have been operating well under our radar and which, thanks to an unexpected, deadly pandemic have come out with blazing guns, glowing with a voracious appetite and a ‘fuck you all’ attitude, at a time when the rest of the country is suffering from severe anxiety for its future. No, we are not referring to the supermarket brawls over toilet paper. We are sure that when people start dropping off dead in the streets and our healthcare services are stretched beyond their limits, the fact that ‘my ass is cleaner than yours’, would not quite register on the list of most important things during a pandemic. However, that goes to show, that despite the myths and the boasting, we are not quite the country we’d like to believe, the land of milk and honey, where hospitality, kindness and empathy are king.
But let us not digress any longer as we really are running out of space here (get to it – The Ed). The undisputed joint winners, by unanimous vote, for this year’s ‘National Greedy Pig’ award, are none other than Air Malta’s pilots and cabin crew, who, even if the rest of the country is functioning at a loss, even if small businesses are running into the ground as hard-hit employees bite their fingernails to the bone, are valiantly and fearlessly resisting any COVID-19 salary cuts. “Fuck off,” said the pilots and cabin crew’s unions, despite even the Air Malta chairman, CEO and other chief officers taking drastic cuts in salaries and allowances.
Let us remind our readers these are the same gentle souls who, until quite recently were kicking up a fuss for wanting to become millionaires upon retirement. These are the same brave people, whose peers in the aviation industry have been furloughed by other airline companies as they battle the worst crisis the industry has had to face in its history. Therefore, we feel that when it comes to this much-lauded award, these fine examples of how to pig out at the expense of the taxpayer, a modern day ‘up yours’ version of Marie Antoinette’s ‘Let them eat cake’, Airmalta’s pilots and cabin crew fully deserve the award as no contender in living history, given these unprecedented circumstances, can ever come close to depicting what greed is all about.
Given these turbulent times and the social distancing aspect as preached daily by Prof Charmaine, we regret that we cannot hold the event publicly, but as a token of our heartfelt reverence towards these fine examples of empathy, we have decided to reward the winners with a fully paid weekend break to Comino, in the recently refurbished, ex-pig farm 5-star attraction.
Disclaimer: Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are not used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is not purely coincidental. The above article is to be taken in the spirit it was intended… Shame on you, you greedy bastards!